From the “You Can’t Make This Shit Up” Department comes word that the Hall of Presidents Attraction at Walt Disney World in Orlando will naturally include #45, but Trump won’t be speechifying like Clinton, Bush, and Obama, and instead will (ohdearlordmakeitso) be kept as silent as Melania at a State dinner.
From Vice’s Motherboard:
The Hall of Presidents attraction in Walt Disney World is a 23-minute celebration of American history, which opened in 1971. It begins with a short film about the history of the United States and its presidency, and it ends with an impressive grand finale. The curtain rises to reveal visually accurate robots of every President of the United States. The show concludes with a rousing rendition of "Battle Hymn of the Republic."
So far, so good. If you’ve ever been there, perhaps you hit up the HoP after tiring of the Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion attractions, or watching your kids puke their guts out after their 23rd whirl on the Teacups. And perhaps after visiting the HoP you were stirred to patriotism by the sight of all the presidents gesturing and waving and nodding their mechanical way through the Uncanny Valley of mostly whitewashed American history. And perhaps afterwards you worked hard to explain to your son or daughter why the stage featured 43 white, male mannequins and a lone 44th whose “skin” didn’t match the others.
But now there’s a problem:
When he debuted in 1993, Bill Clinton was the first president to recite a speech for the Hall of Presidents. George W. Bush followed suit eight years later. And Barack Obama followed suit eight years after him.
...
Motherboard spoke via email and phone to a source close to Walt Disney Imagineering—the research and development department behind Disney's theme park attractions. And according to the source, Donald Trump will be in the attraction, but he will probably not have a speaking role, unlike the three presidents immediately before him.The Imagineers will likely revert the attraction to its pre-1993 format, where the current president does not speak, while keeping the more realistic, grounded tone of the current show.
"Given how polarizing the president is right now, Disney Parks & Resorts is currently trying to find [a solution] that approaches middle ground," said the source in an interview with Motherboard. "They want to include our 45th commander-in-chief in this 45-year-old theme park attraction, while at the same time, not seem to endorse or support some of Trump's more controversial policies." (Emphasis added)
Personally, I think they’re afraid the TrumpBot may become self-aware—a skill that, by the way, has eluded Trump himself—and start yelling obscenities at guests. Maybe they’re fearful the TrumpBot will make like one of SNL’s Merryville Brothers and start sexually assaulting female spectators. Maybe they don’t want to admit they blew their budget on ordering special orange skin from some chemical factory deep in the heart of China. Or maybe they just thought Disney’s guests, enlightened as they are nowadays, still weren’t ready to hear TrumpBot say, “I did try and fuck her. She was married. I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there” over and over and over and over and over and over and over…
Anyway, #45 will debut sometime in June. Get your tickets now.
Trump: Making Animatronics Go Audioless.
Motherboard: Here’s the Secret Backstage Trump Drama at Walt Disney World’s Hall of Presidents
Orlando Weekly: Trump's robot probably won't say a word at Disney's Hall of Presidents
Bleeding Cool: Report:Donald Trump Robot For Disney’s Hall Of Presidents Going About As Well As His Presidency
RawStory: Walt Disney World considers breaking ‘Hall of Presidents’ tradition to silence robot ‘Trump’